Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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