"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize