i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
