You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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