btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
