Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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