i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
