And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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