I will die if light touches me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
