Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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