I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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