Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
