i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sext me about skeletons
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize