no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
