One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
