Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
