I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
