Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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