I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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