'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
