I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
