i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
