Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
