would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
