week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
