This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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