i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
