whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
