WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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