Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
