nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
