Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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