It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
