I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
