theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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