you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
