Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
