You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
