At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
