there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no you cant smoke seaweed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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