I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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