Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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