Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
