I want to make a zoo with you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You made out with two different species that night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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