you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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