I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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