I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
whose ass print is on the piano?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
