Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
