As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
