69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
