you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
