i don't like sucking hair
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
