TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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