Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
