I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
