He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize