She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize