Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize