East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
