i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
