A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
